Greetings, I’ve summoned you all here to address the issue of carrots. Yes, carrots. This supreme day I was on a promenade around my fields when I stumbled upon my forgotten carrot crop. Promptly I hailed my chief assistant to behold these awe-inspiring beings of this fine earth. He proclaimed “Jesus screaming johosaphats! We must harvest quick!” So we commenced to extract the orange cones of astonishment from the fertile bosom of thy earth.

As our labor of love continued we began to notice something very peculiar about our carrots. They seemed to appear spherical in shape. “How odd” whispered the Fox. Indeed, indeed, indeed… Anyhow, once the entire carrot community had been procured from the loam we transported our hefty crop into our humble abode. In the kitchen was where the preparation began. We pruned, unsoiled, and stripped the skin to expose the raw flesh of the carrot and bring out the aroma and luminescence of the carotene.

I opened the icebox and discovered a bag of pre-prepared baby carrots. So I says to meself Fuck dis sheit i’m gone eat dis one instead. So Davey and I ate a pound of fucking carrots.